Back when I was in school, I was bullied, most of you know this story already. UT was my way of not only escaping but my way of being the "bully", you know, to see how it would feel. You know the saying, "what's good for the goose, is good for the gander...", how is it that, good things happen to bad people but bad things happen to good? Back then, that didn't click for me, I didn't realize it until I got older but in UT, I wanted to be the bully, be something that I wasn't in the real world, I caused something, drama. Unfortunately, it was bad drama, sadly, when I would apologize for it, I was sorry, but no one believed me, and rightfully so, because I'd go back to it again, because, hell, I wanted to be something and feel that power of being the fucking bully.
In 2011, I came back, right? Again, bringing drama, this time more of entertainment, more of what I am. I go to a party, or an event, I light the room up. People are happy to see me, they're excited. The drama I brought here, I hoped you guys enjoyed, the Chopper showdown, Boyzel and I, etc. that's all it was, pure excitement. You either hated it or loved it, it was fun, that's how I am, fun. But it fazed out. My enjoyment today? My nieces, work, travelling, vacations, trying new places to eat, is paying off my car, building my credit, focusing on my career, buying a house, and hopefully someday being a dad. That's enjoyment.
I can't imagine why someone wanted to bully me back in the day. Still eats at me what was wrong with me, because there's nothing wrong with me. Even the shit I did in UT, to HoF, to RJ and his crew, it was stupid by all means, childish, I knew what I was doing and that's why I choose not to be a bully in today's world. My quote on Facebook is this, "be the light in this dark world. do good and receive good but expect nothing in return.
", and I live by that. I put smiles on faces and go on with my day, my friend the other week lost money, he was pissed, and I told him, you good? He said, no, I lost money, I said suck it up, you can't do nothing about it but you just made someone's day, look at it that way. He said, you're right, I had fun regardless, spent the day with you, watched a fantastic movie and eating great food. Why get bent out of shape over stupid shit? Fuck it and keep moving. Can't change the past, but you can create the future.
The game was fun for me, and will always be part of my life, because many faces left an impact on me, molded me to become who I am today. Right, STARS. Names like her that I remember, and I will continue to tear up when I mention their names, Toxic, Duke, Bratt.. They will always have an impact on me, Ven.
I hope one day, I can be an awesome Father, a loving husband; but for now, I will continue to shed light, put smiles on faces, because you don't know what someone is going through and I know this, I don't want to be the gander.
I love you guys, even though I'm not here anymore, or am I.
", and I live by that. I put smiles on faces and go on with my day, my friend the other week lost money, he was pissed, and I told him, you good? He said, no, I lost money, I said suck it up, you can't do nothing about it but you just made someone's day, look at it that way. He said, you're right, I had fun regardless, spent the day with you, watched a fantastic movie and eating great food. Why get bent out of shape over stupid shit? Fuck it and keep moving. Can't change the past, but you can create the future.